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Wallachia's Guide to a fun Trip

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  • Wallachia's Guide to a fun Trip

    As you don't know - or don't care, huehuehue - I went on a trip to the south of my country due to the brazilian Carnaval event, and wrote a manual of things to do during it.

    Note: I really did all of those.

    1. If you run out of water, wrap a towel around your waist then run on the streets carrying your shower stuff on your hands. Then kindly break into the neighbour's house and finish there.

    - If they come in like it happened with me, follow my example: Walk out normally, thank them for being kind and letting you use their bathroom and invite them for beer on the next day.

    2. What's the use of marked plane seats? Simply take a random seat, cross your arms and pretend to be asleep. Nobody will push you away from your new seat.

    - I remember the flight attendant saying "Sir? We need you to move seats.....Sir? SIR?", then 3 seconds later she was saying "I'm sorry, I can't wake him up, do you mind seating somewhere else?" and a male voice answering "It's fine, he looks really tired, let him rest".

    3. If a policeman says your neighbours are making too much noise and disrupting the street, threaten to call your uncle, who happens to be a general in the brazilian army, and tell him you will make him lose his badge until he apologizes for the incident and goes away.

    - I didn't lie, my uncle is a Brigadier General in the brazilian army. I met such policeman on the beach hours later - The city is in the shore - and he even denied ever going to the street I was.

    4. After the above incident, please make sure your friend calls the police and report a false robbery. When the police arrives, you go there and say you didn't see anything strange.

    - We did that from the phone booth in front of the neighbour's house so they wouldn't track us.

    5. When you run out of beer, invade your neighbour's home and steal 12 packs of beer from them.

    - The same house I invaded to shower. It was funny to hear them saying "Wow, we already consumed that much beer so fast? We are on fire". That's the result of 12 college students in the same place.

    6. If your friend hooks up with the ugliest girl, whenever they walk on the beach stand beside him and yell "CAPTAIN AHAB, HERE'S THE HARPOON YOU ASKED ME".

    - I don't judge people for being overweight, but she never got the joke and he chased me down the road some.

    7. If you want to see a lot of drunken people fall on the ground, hop on a street pin and dance in only one leg. They will try to do the same, fall off and some of them will even fall asleep.

    - Someone took a picture of me making Karate-Kid's pose with some of the passed out drunkards, but I never found him on Facebook to ask for it.

    8. Every single time you see a pick-up truck, jump on it and try to hitch a ride.

    - I got a ride around the city, my friend got a one-night stand with the driver >.>

    9. If the local band hosts a show on the beach and allow you to grab the microphone during a song, don't sing along. Instead make a "mentally challenged" face and yell "ASDASDASDASDASDAS" repeatedly.

    - The drummer couldn't play anymore, so much he was laughing.

    10. And, above it all, if every single attempt to hook up with a girl fails, go on the streets and yell "Free smex ride here!"

    - I was chased by guys who found me handsome.

    If you don't like this thread, blame Predator.
    Permanently retired from all R2Games.

  • #2
    I couldn't stop laughing.
    Damn good guide buddy! I was waiting so long for this release, I can just visualize myself doing those things, you sure are some crazy Brazilian!
    internet sensation


    • #3
      Hahahahahaha what did I just read?! o.O XD

      Awhh dude! Number 6 and 10 really got me laughing! And then there was the ending with: "If you don't like this thread, blame Predator." hahaha how do you get to this kind of stuff >.< Keep em coming!

      Awesome thread!


      • #4
        sorry but this didn't make me laugh and yah thks for the guide but no thks the best guide is to just be you buddy T.T
        I don't want to live a life filled with regrets just because you are uncomfortable around me you have a mouth use it to express how you feel and don't be ashamed of it but if you're going to hide behind my back and get away with it that's where you're wrong T.T