Post your funny jokes here!!!!

[Mefutaku]

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An Impasta

Simple

[SilhouetteYui]

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An Impasta

Simple

Then.. How you call the maker of the fake noodle? Is it impastarer O.o??

[AkiraAgnar]

Quoted from "Tales of the Abyss"

-----

Melons

Anise: Sneaking through the forest like this is exciting, isn't it?
Guy: Yeah...it feels almost like hide-and-seek
Luke: I haven't played hide-and-seek in years...
Guy: But you were pretty amazing at hiding in those days
Anise: So you're good at sneaky stuff like that, huh?
Luke: ...Well, excuse me for being sneaky
Guy: Well, like how you always ran somewhere else when you were about to be found. You were certainly sneaky enough for the rest of us
Anise: Huh... Well, I could still beat him any day. A cute little body like mine is perfect for hiding
Luke: Ooh, look, she's calling herself cute
Anise: What, are you trying to say I'm not cute?!
Luke: What do you care what a sneaky guy like me says about you? You're about as sexy as Mieu
Anise: Hey! Just you wait, I'll get as big as Tear when I'm grown up!
Luke: Please. No way you could hope to match those melons!
Tear: M-MELONS?! Both of you! Stop being stupid and be quiet! Now!
Luke: ......
Anise: ......
(Luke, Guy and Anise leaves)

Natalia: ...Um, Tear, you're being louder than both of them...
Tear: ...S-sorry...(thinking) He called them big...

-----

Borrowing the sword

Peony: I suppose I could lend you this sword if those three cute girls beg
Natalia: That's a fine case of sexual harassment!
Peony: Okay, then the guys will do it, too. Go ahead, Luke
Luke: Me!? (sighs) Please lend us the sword
Peony: Next
Guy: With all due respect, Your majesty, We would like to borrow this sword
Peony: Next
Anise: Emperor Peony, you're so handsome~ Can we pleease borrow the sword?~ Pretty please, with sugar on top?~
Peony: Haha, great, great! Just wait until you're six years older and I'll date you any time!
Luke: Woah, he sure changes quick...
Natalia: (teeth clenched) Please lend us the sword
Peony: Oooh, that icy smile! Yes!
(Everyone looks at Tear)

Tear: M-me too? ... Your majesty, if it's okay, we would like to borrow this sword...
Peony: Oh, that hint of naivete! Yeah...
Jade: Your majesty--
Peony: Shut up. Don't beg; I'll puke
Jade: Now, now, Your Majesty; Please allow me to make my most sincere of requests
Peony: No. Leave
Jade: Oh, how unfortunate... We'll be taking the sword, then
All: ...

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For more ToA quotes, visit http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Tales_of_the_Abyss

[SilhouetteYui]

Passive-Aggressive Notes Left for Noisy Neighbors:

• “Hi. Just thought you might like to know that I think your pet elephants have been bowling while you’re out. —Your Downstairs Neighbor.”

• “Good morning! We hope your 
exorcism was successful last night. We do ask as a courtesy that you limit expelling demons to Friday or Saturday nights. Thank you in advance.”

• “Dear Neighbor, Your car’s sound system is amazing. It is so loud and the bass is so rockin’ that it actually shakes all the apartment buildings 
in the complex. Awesome!”

xD

[Predator]

sorry im not a funny person

[SilhouetteYui]

sorry im not a funny person

:3 Just try.. you might find the Non-serious side of yours.

[Greenfireflygirl]

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them **** in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird ****!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

[LoraleiSolo]

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?

A. To get away from all the awful jokes here, mine included. That chicken has some sense!


Q. What did the corpse say to the other corpse?

A. Nothing, they were both dead!!!


Once, my mum told me me that if I fell out of a tree and broke my legs, I wasn't to come running to her!


Q. Why did the turkey cross the road?

A. To prove he wasn't chicken!


Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps thinking she's invisible!
What sister?

Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out!
Certainly, which way did you come in?

Doctor, Doctor I feel like an apple.
We must get to the core of this!

Doctor, Doctor, I'm suffering from wind!
Here's a kite!